JT on a Soapbox
Okay, I’m going to follow up on Marlee’s last 2 posts on here and tell you what I think about her dating advice… It’s JT-on-a-soapbox today.
First of all, her post on meeting women in bars and clubs… It basically revolves around dancing. And dancing is something I pretty much suck at.
I don’t get music. Not at all. And I don’t care either. I couldn’t name 20 famous musicians. It makes for some awkward situations sometimes. For example I went out with the girl here in Vegas who does Celine Dion’s hair.
Now, I had no idea who Celine Dion was. It sounded like a black girl’s name to me, so I asked her what she could do with her hair. Turns out that Celine Dion is actually a really famous white girl and you can do a lot with her hair. Who woulda thunk it? Not me.
Here’s why I don’t care. Famous people have no bearing on my life. None. They aren’t going to help me live a better life, lead me to my goals, bring me happiness or add value to my life. They don’t even know I exist and I think it’s kinda creepy to worship and talk about someone who I don’t know and who has no influence on my life.
Anyway, I don’t have an ear for music. I have no melody, or rhythm, or whatever you call it. I look like a twitching robot when I “dance”.
Now I DID learn to swing dance as a surprise for one of my girlfriends when she was away for a semester abroad in Australia, but even that ended up being awkward because she’s 6’1 in flats and I’m 5’10” stretched out.
But after we broke up… wow did knowing a few moves come in handy when it came to picking up women. Even though I have no sense of melody, I can still swing a girl around a bit. And I’m a good lead, even if we are going at our own pace and ignoring the music.
I also discovered that no matter where I am in the world, taking a girl’s hand and twirling her around on the dance floor-making her the center of attention-makes it a whole lot easier to seduce her.
So yeah, I’d say learn to dance.
As far as Marlee’s post on what creepy guys do, I think that’s great dating advice. I loved it. I worked with a guy for 2 days who had those same kind of tendencies. He thought all these women secretly wanted him, but for one reason or another were afraid to show it.
He would write them notes, go to their houses, and surprise them at work even though they would ignore him and one girl even called the cops. He told me she was “playing hard to get.”
Holy shit, that’s messed up.
I will say that there is something to be said for persistence. I’ve waited years for women I’ve wanted. Keeping in casual contact with them through a phone call, card or email for years while I waited for them to be single, move closer to me or visit the States from overseas.
You just gotta know when enough is enough. That’s kind of an art form and I probably have 10 or 20 women at a time that have this kind of warm-but-not-hot relationship with. The trick is to know when to push hard and know when to back off. The only way you learn is through experience, so it really helps if you are working a few of these girls just for practice. Actually, some of the best dating advice I can give you is to simply meet as many women as you can so you get experience in a lot of different types of relationships.
I totally agree that things like “accidentally” running into a girl is really lame. Not that I haven’t done it before and had it work. But unless you have really good social fluency, it’s really easy to come off as obsessive and stalkerish.
Oh, and that reminds me, I read an FML recently where this girl was over at her new boyfriend’s house. She was looking through his photo albums and found a one filled with candid pictures of her in random places from 2 and 3 years before they even “met”. And if that doesn’t creep you out, PLEASE leave my blog and never come back.
But, if you get just how scary that is, well I think we are going to continue to have a good time together learning how to meet women.
Talk later. Enjoy—JT
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